F.O.R.G.I.V.E & F.O.R.G.E.T

There's a few things that you need to let go.

1st, your past.
The past that make your heart feel so uneasy.
The past that break your heart.
The past that cannot be replace by others.

1st thing we need to do is
Forgive and Forget.
If we not,
We'll be unhappy forever.

Why we need to forgive?
Because, we need to be fair.
We already do our part
To forgive.
But if they refuse.
Its ok, our part is done.

Why we need to forget? 
Because they're useless to be remembered. 
If we're always think about it.
There's a question mark that always fools around your mind.

Idiot.

Why we need to think about them while they're having fun out there.
Useless.

They're nor humans, animals or aliens as well.
They're nothing.
Has no feeling.
Selfish.
Cold hearted.

We need to stand up straight
And moving forward.

S.H.A.D.E

Something we all need to remember
Sometimes holding on
Does more damage
Then letting go.

Like you
Put on shade
But your eyes already red

Loving someone like hell
But you don't know that she's/he's parasites

The simply way to cover our depression is

Put on shade
Headphones
Switch on music
And walk like you didn't see anyone else

But sometimes we need to get

A better social life.

M.I.S.S .Y.O.U

I know you're somewhere out there

Somewhere far away

I want you back

I want you back

My neighbors think I'm crazy

But they don't understand

You're all I had

You're all I had

At night when the stars light up my room

I sit by myself talking to the moon.

Trying to get to you

In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too.

Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?

At night when the stars light up my room

I sit by myself talking to the moon.

Trying to get to you

In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too.

Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?

Still trying to get to you

In hopes you're on the other side talking to me too

Or am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon?

I know you're somewhere out there

Somewhere far away

*ini adalah beberapa rangkap lagu bruno mars

TALKING TO THE MOON

today is my birthday, and i feel so alone.
sebelum ni every year aku dapat kiss dari mak
tapi tahun ni ucapan pun takda.
adik rindu mak

adik ingat lagi 
adik yang terakhir mak tengok mak
1 minggu adik jaga mak dekat hospital
sebelum ni mak masuk ward yang boleh orang datang melawat.
tapi last ward mak adalah ward untuk orang nazak.
terima kasih dekat kak yah. beruntung mak dapat menantu doktor.
boleh dapat bilik perseorangan, even ward orang tenat, 
tapi still orang boleh datang melawat 
they came to you to say the last goodbye

seminggu jugak adik tidur sebelah ayah dekat atas lantai
jaga mak dekat hospital. even ada nurse and doktor and me.
ayah still nak tidur jaga mak dekat hospital.
cause i know, since 15 years ago. 
both of you didnt sleep together.
and i know, ayah wont leave you alone for the last time.

last day masa mak masih sedar.
masa tu adik nak pergi kerja.
mak batuk-batuk, i know you want my attention.
tapi kenapa mak marah adik depan nurse depan doktor,
im sorry mak, adik tak patut merajuk dan 
terus tinggalkan mak sorang-sorang dekat ward
terus pergi kerja. 
i dont know that was our last conversation.

masa adik kat tempat kerja, 
ayah call, cakap mak tak lama dah.
adik terus cakap dengan manager yang adik nak cuti lama.
adik nak jaga mak dekat hospital.
4 hari mak koma. 
tapi doktor cakap condition mak semakin ok.
hari keempat jugak mak sedar.
tapi mak tak oleh cakap.
mak just boleh dengar, faham and angguk kepala.
sometimes mak menangis.

peoples comes and go.
day by day. on 7th day you're awake.
that was your last day alive.

pagi tu adik bangun pagi,
masa adik nak balik rumah untuk mandi.
mak senyap je. biasanya mak akan angkat tangan panggil adik.
tapi gerak mata pun mak malas.
adik ingat mak penat. so adik gerak balik.
tengahari adik masuk balik.
tapi mak still sama. tak gerak lansung. 
mak tidur. lama adik tunggu mak bangun.
tapi mak tak bangun.
masa tu baru adik sedar.
allah pinjamkan mak sehari je untuk kami 
mintak maaf, berbual dengan untuk kali terakhir.

tapi masa tu adik beradik mak semua baru je gerak balik KL.
anak-anak mak penuh dalam bilik, baca yasin
teman mak. family lain semua stay. kawan-kawan kami.
diorang semua teman kami.
until 11pm. anak-anak mak one by one balik rumah. 
termasuk ayah. mungkin diorang ingat masih ada esok untuk jumpa mak.
paling last, kakcik. adik tahu semua penat.
but why tinggal kan adik sorang-sorang. 
because Im the 1st who know that you're gone.

mak tak tahu betapa beratnya adik nak bercakap
dengan yang lain, nak beritahu yang mak dah takda.
adik baru keluar sekejap sebab doktor suruh keluar.
dan kemudian doktor suruh masuk. masa tu muka mak ditutup dengan selimut,
itu moment yang paling tak kuat nak hadap.
dalam banyak-banyak anak mak. muka kakcik paling tak boleh lupa. 
sebab saat dia pergi je, masa tu jugak mak habis.
adik tahu dia kecewa, tapi adik tak mampu nak peluk dia.
sebab adik pun ada ego sendiri, 
masing-masing ego tinggi.
tapi kalah bila tengok jasad mak terkujur dekat atas katil.

mak, adik rindu.
sangat-sangat rindukan mak. 
i promise to you that i'll take care of ayah.
love you, and thank you sebab lahirkan adik on
 10:45am 10 january 1992 at hospital besar ipoh perak.

A.Y.A.H

Selamat hari lahir ayah. Semoga ayah dimurahkan rezeki, dipanjangkan umur dan sihat selalu. Ayah la lelaki yang paling kuat, terima kasih kerana membesarkan 7 orang anak dengan berjaya. Terima kasih sebab ayah jadi emak kepada kami selama hampir setahun selepas pemergian emak tahun lepas. Terima kasih sebab sabar melayan kerenah adik dari kecik sampai besar. Ayah tahu apa yang adik boleh dan tak boleh makan. Terima kasih kerana masih layan adik dengan baik sebab adiklah satu-satunya anak ayah yang selalu buat ayah sakit jantung. You're my unsung hero. Tiada siapa tahu bakti ayah terhadap negara pada masa dahulu. Ayah lawan komunis. Back to 1992, masa adik baru lahir. Ayah jatuh payung terjun, beribu batu dari udara. Sampai koyak urat kaki. Perut pecah, jatung terus rosak. Tapi alhamdulillah sampai hari ni ayah masih kuat. Masih kuat untuk masak bagi kami adik beradik makan. Sorry ayah, sebab jarang teman ayah kat rumah. Adik tak boleh duduk kat rumah lama². Haha love you ayah. Muah. Xoxo

5 January

O.N.Y.E.T

My dear Onyet.
When the first time i saw you.
I thought you're Portuguese.
But I was wrong.
You're nyonya bukit from Merlimau.
That's why you're so Kahau.

Hahahahahaha

Ok
Our first conversation
You said your name is Joyce
But what I heard is rejoice
After that, we do our own business.

Few months or year later
We start to hang over together
Enjoyed our live like tomorrow never come.
That time i thought you're real bestfriend that I'll kept forever.

Day by day
Years by years

Your friends is my friends
My friends is your friends

I know,
Sometimes we're having a very bad conversation.
Misunderstood.
And so many things.

We lost
We fought like hell
Like cat and dog
Like our good memory are non valuable
Like you and I are an enemy

You and I are so silent
Like a cave without human
Like a space without star and planet
Like a zoo without animals

Hurmmm

I miss you damn much
I try to text, but my ego was so damn high
But its ok.
as long as i love you.
I text you
I want you back,
Be my sister again.

And then we're good again
But have a little bit awkward
Because we just have a big fought.

Months by months
We're truly like sister with different mother and different father.

Dear Joyce
No matter what happen to us.
I'll always be by your side
And so do you.

Thats all
Love you Onyet
Xoxo

M.O.V.E O.N

Last night,  you shared your favorite song to me.
And today i hear the song again.
And this is my review.
Read phase by phase.
And i want you to understand,
you need to move on.

All I Want - Kodaline

Phase 1
All i want is nothing more
To hear you knocking at my door
Cause if i could see your face, once more
I could die a happy man I'm sure

* Aku tahu kau sedih, koyak habis. Bro, jangan mengharap sesuatu yang tak akan atau mungkin akan terjadi tapi tak tahu bila. Kau ibarat pungguk rindukan bulan. Kadang-kadang kita kena jadi keras untuk jaga hati kita, sebab takda siapa boleh jaga hati kau melainkan diri kau sendiri.

Phase 2
When you said your last goodbye
I died a little bit inside
I lay in tears in bed all night
Alone without you by my side

*Memang ucapan selamat tinggal or "sorry goodbye" yang diucap oleh orang yang kita sayang boleh buat kita separuh mati. Aku tahu sakit. Tapi dia bukan pergi mati ke apa. Dia dah buat pilihan dia. Dan yang buat kau sakit tu ialah pilihan dia bukan kau. Come on.... back to reality bro. Kau memang akan menangis sorang-sorang dalam bilik atau dengan family dan kawan-kawan rapat kau, yang nampak keikhlasan kau faham kau. Tapi bukan dia. Dia tak rasa apa pun. Sebab dia tak fikir. Aku tahu, kau rasa sunyi sebab baru lost separuh diri kau. Its okay... biar sakit sekarang, jangan sakit kemudian hari. Kawan-kawan kan ada untuk kau. Family lagi lah hari-hari hadap muka kau. Cheer la sikit.

Phase 3
But if you loved me
Why'd you leave me?
Take my body
Take my body
All i want is
And all need is
To find somebody
I'll find somebody
Like you

*Kalau dia sayang kau. Even dia yang buat salah. Dia sendiri akan datang cari kau, bukan kau yang cari dia. Dia dah memang tak nak kau. That's why she leave you all alone. She won't bring you together to begin a new life or new chapter. Because she didn't see any future to live together with you. And you, if you want to begin a new life with a new girl. Please, don't find somebody exactly like her. Poor the new girl, because she will never be anything more than second best.

Phase 4
See you brought out the best of me
A part of me I've never seen
You took my soul and wiped it clean
Our love was made for movie screens.

*Mungkin banyak sangat kenangan manis kau dengan dia. Kau rasa life kau dengan dia tu sempurna je dulu. Kau rasa bila kau lepak dengan dia, sifat kau yang kau sendiri tak pernah expose, tapi kau boleh expose bila kau dgn dia. Kau rasa kau dengan dia ada chemistry. Tapi semua kenangan terindah tak pernah selamanya terindah. Kau kena let go. Lepaskan semuanya sekarang.

P/s: my dear brother, only one thing you need to do is just keep moving on. I'll be there by your side

P.A.T A.H S.A.Y.A.P

Hari ni aku agak terkejut, bila seorang sahabat.

Datang cari aku. I don't know why. 

Sebab dia bukan seorang yang 

suka-suka cari aku ajak lepak bagai. No.

Once aku tengok dia jalan pakai shade, 

masa tu aku dah dapat agak. 

Budak ni kemurungan ni. Tak pe lah. 

Let me cheer your day brothaaaaa...

Kita hidup memang sentiasa nak bahagia,
Tapi kena ingat, setiap bahagia itu pasti terselit sedikit derita.
Kau pun tahu, kita tak boleh terlalu mengejar dunia.
Sebab apa yang dikejar tak dapat, 

yang dikendong hilang sekelip mata.

Kisah kita sama, yang bezanya kau lama dan aku pulak sekejap.
Memang ye, hati kita hari-hari akan rasa tak sedap.
Tapi nak buat macam mana, dah ini yang kita kena hadap.

Kau jangan sedih, memang semua orang tahu hati kau pedih.
Tapi takkan kau nak terus kalah jatuh terduduk.
Kau patut bangkit, bukan terus tunduk.

Ingat, kau ada banyak kawan. Semua ni bukan lawan.
Kau boleh kongsi apa saja yang kau rasa nak kongsi.
Sebab kawan-kawan kau semua setia teman kau disisi.

Everybody love you. Jangan rasa diri kau seorang diri. 

There's are plenty people out there 

yang setia dengan kau 

even kau jatuh terduduk macam mana sekalipun.

Anggap je kau sedang mengembara kat dunia yang berliku. 

Perjalanan masih panjang. This is a great adventure you know. 

Once you achieve something great. You'll satisfied with yourself.

No matter what happen, I'll be there for you.